In the chaotic whirlwind of the gaming world, one player’s voice cannot reach another. The party leader, lost in a haze of Mountain Dew and Dorito dust, bellows a classic taunt, “That’s what your mom said last night! Get rekt!”
As the Xaurips scream in agony, our Aedyran hero, fueled by a resentment rivaling the fiery Xbox battles of old, spins like a whirlwind, firing wildly and refusing to pause for precision. By the time the dust settles, the hero is exhausted, their legs wobbling and arms weary. Yet the quest for glory drives them on, ignoring the dizziness that comes from such relentless exertion.
Addicted to the thrill, there’s loot to seize, victory dances to perform, and no shortage of unfortunate foes to face. Back at camp, they eye their trusty arquebus, longing for the day when it will boast the gaudiest custom skin. They reflect on the journey that brought them here: a path filled with intentional cockiness, companions who barely tolerate them, and devotions to the audacious gods of everything wild and competitive.
It all started innocently enough with the purchase of a superior arquebus from a merchant in Fior Mes Ivèrno. As they admired it, thoughts of a Barrett 50 Cal filled their mind—a perfect weapon to silence mocking enemies who dared point at their enchanted wooden mask.
“I’ll show you,” they muttered, determined despite their unconventional avatar— a small woman with striking purple hair, a refreshing break from the generic macho protagonists. Avowed wasn’t easy at first. Learning to keep distance from melee attackers and adjusting to the arquebus’ slow reload was crucial. Death was frequent, and allies often saved the day. Still, it was the lousy K/D ratio that truly stung, lacking any excuse like server lag.
Channeling the resilience of the Faze Clan, they pressed on. Their skills grew, with hitmarkers showing more regularly during drawn-out battles. Occasionally, the red skull icon of a headshot would flash, filling them with the euphoria of success and the scent of a gamer’s haven. They were evolving—a shooting star blasting through the mold.
Ready for the ultimate challenge, they ventured into bounty hunting with a distinct flair—a nod to classic Obsidian RPGs like New Vegas. The first quarry was fittingly ferocious, Old Nuna, a colossal bear. Armed with countless air horns and a playlist blending Eminem’s hits with Minecraft parodies, they descended into the creature’s lair.
Owning the moment, determined not to waste a single shot, they unleashed an assault so relentless that any bystander would marvel. Bang, spin, bang, spin—a ballet of lead and bravado, propelled by Cheeto dust and vengeance. Though imperfect, they nailed the vital shots.
Old Nuna fell, the massive target granting no reprieve from their deadly aim. “Mom, get the camera!” they screamed, victory enveloping them as celebratory hitmarkers and meme icons erupted. Triumph was sweet, even as the remaining foes were dispatched.
Upon returning to Fior, surrounded by the curious gazes of animancers, they set off their air horns, creating a cacophony of chaos as they claimed their bounty. Unsatisfied with mere coin, they cheekily requested lifelong loot boxes. “No,” replied the bounty master.
Leaning in, they mimicked recording, and whispered harsh truths, taunting the bounty master with a colorful tirade on his lack of Aedyran authenticity. They left, reveling in the shock of witnesses. Little mattered now; they were only growing stronger, their legend as a 360 no-scoper just beginning.
The hour of revelation was near. The dawn of the Avowed 360 no-scoper had arrived. Brewing with energy drink-fueled certainty, they realized Inquisitor Lödwyn had stumbled into the wrong domain— theirs.
